Look, my +1 backed out and I'm not showing up to this thing as a solo act. I need a partner in crime. Literally. Here's the mission, should you choose to accept it: Saturday May 30th, formal event, dress nice but not "met gala" nice. We show up together, we have a cover story, we make it convincing (not necessary, but we definitely met longer than a week before). To everyone there, we've known each other for years. Inside jokes we'll make up in the parking lot. A handshake with lore. The whole charade. What you're signing up for: Semi-formal event Good conversation guaranteed Slow dancing if the moment calls for it Living an elaborate double life for approximately 3-4 hours A story worth telling What I need from you: Female, fun, can hold a conversation Comfortable winging it Not afraid of a little manufactured mystery Bonus points if you can keep a straight face This isn't a date. It's a classified operation. Also, we can hit Taco Bell or Flanigans or whatever after.